Here’s an alarming Monday story for you, Man cuts off own penis during drunk DIY. I could really just end this post now as most of the shock value is gone with the title, but I really want to break down the stupidity here.
A carpenter called Stuart Keen cut off his own penis in the bath as he apparently tried to do DIY while drunk.
Mr Keen, 54, suffered horrific injuries as he used the saw to cut wood for a cabinet he was making in his home workshop.
Police and ambulance crews rushed to his home in Wantage, Oxfordshire and found Mr Keen and the severed penis in the bath.
He was taken by ambulance to the John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford in a serious but not life-threatening condition.
So is it safe to assume that dude was building a cabinet while drunk AND naked using a sharp saw? I can understand a good drunk craft session, but what really concerns me here is the fact that he felt the need to expose his johnson and every other unsightly crack to a good sawdusting; nevermind the fact that he is using a sharp saw around one of the most important body parts he has. WTF?
And to make shit worse, now dude has his mother speaking on behalf of his freshly removed penis…
His mother Edna, 84, said: “Stuart had a very nasty accident with a saw but he is recovering now.
“He suffered tissue damage and had surgery to stitch him up which, I understand, was successful.
“I have spoken to him and he is quite embarrassed about the whole incident. I was in Somerset when it happened and got a call from the hospital.
“Hopefully he will be home next week and be able to get back to work which he loves.
I’m glad all his junk got saved, but wouldn’t it just suck as a 54 year old man to have your mother giving a “state of the penis” address about YOUR penis? Here is one last mind boggling statement from his mother.
“This was an unfortunate accident but these things happen all the time to people in his profession.”
Surely she means that carpenters get cut with sharp tools all the time and not that carpenters get drunk and naked and saw their own dicks off.
WTF
